


baguette ft. rose

by death-by-ladybug (fandomchildd), fandomchildd



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Based on a True Story, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Trans Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, baguettes used as weapons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-01-31 14:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21447808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomchildd/pseuds/death-by-ladybug, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomchildd/pseuds/fandomchildd
Summary: akuma tries to board the Liberty. rose disagrees.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Juleka Couffaine, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Rose Lavillant, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant
Comments: 36
Kudos: 298





	baguette ft. rose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GalahadWilder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalahadWilder/gifts).

> the baguette part based on a true story which i will GLADLY explain to those who feel the urge to ask  
the rest is my writing not letting me write dumb shit without throwing in lila salt classmates LGBTQ+ shit and yeah i think i have a problem  
it started out crack. now it is less so.

One of the things Rose loved about the Liberty was it was a safe place for everyone. There were exactly four exceptions. 

  1. Gabriel Agreste.
  2. Hawk Moth/his akumas.
  3. Felix Graham de Vanily. 
  4. Rose's aunt. 

Other than those four, everyone was welcome on the Liberty. Most nights, Rose would end up staying on the Liberty and sneaking home in the morning, to the annoyance of her aunt. Well, Rose didn't care. Juleka was her everything and she would protect the Liberty with _ every. single. _self defense technique she knew. 

Which was a lot. Not that she ever really used them. Heck, most people probably thought she was defenseless. 

Rose like it when people thought she was defenseless. It meant they underestimated her, and _ that _ was a fatal mistake. 

Akumas were a common fact of life in Paris. As long as the egotistical idiot that called himself Hawk Moth existed, there would be akumas. It was almost sad the watch akuma battle now. If _ Rose _ had been Hawk Moth, she would have defeated Ladybug and Chat Noir _ years _ ago. It was only his cowardice and refusal to come out of hiding and fight the heroes like any respectable supervillain would that lead to him still being at large, that much Rose was sure of. 

She also hated Hawk Moth. How dare he violate the very _ emotions _ of humans and use them to fight like the _ coward _ he is?

Maybe she was a _ little _ overenthusiastic about this. 

It was a relatively normal day aboard the Liberty, except that Adrienne was free for once. Well, depending on how you view 'free'. She'd snuck out and was evading her bodyguard by staying below the deck of a moving houseboat. 

A moving houseboat that she was forbidden to board because of the pride flags flying proudly. 

Rose loved days like these, hanging out with Juleka and occasionally one of the girls (or Alix). Today it was Adrienne. Of course, they had to stay below the deck so Adrienne could truly be herself. 

That's what happened when you were friends with a trans model with an abusive and homophobic father, Rose supposed. (Adrienne wanted to change her name more drastically, but it was risky enough that someone would overhear the class referring to her with she/her pronouns and the feminine version of her legal name. If any of that got back to Gabriel, Adrienne could be pulled out of school. So Adrienne it was.) Rose loved when she and Juleka got to give Adrienne a makeover in the safety of the Liberty, Juleka's extensive makeup kit turning her typically masculine features into flawless feminine features. She loved playing with Adrienne's short hair and painting her nails and gossiping over Marvel movie marathons. 

She wished Marinette wasn’t busy today (even through she knew Marinette was probably busy designing _ more _ outfits for queer people) so they could get Adrienne clothes that weren’t 1) Gabriel brand, and 2) fitting for a male model, definitely not a trans girl. 

Marinette had stopped by with a basket of baguettes and croissants earlier, but had to leave quickly. For undisclosed reasons. Which made Rose equally curious, worried, and very, very excited. 

Because _baguettes_. A day without trying to ruin Adrienne's diet at least once is at most a mediocre day. 

Rose darted up the stairs, her keen gaze finding the sparkly pink feather boa she'd bought one day on an impulse. It was perfect for Adrienne. Feminine, glittery, and something Gabriel Agreste would love to burn. 

Perfect!

She hurries back downstairs and grabs a baggy navy blue sweater (probably made by Marinette judging by the quality) on her way down. Juleka's finished with painting Adrienne's nails, in Ladybug red with spots (Rose can see that gay crush from a mile away, and she _loves_ it. She's pretty sure Ladybug is bi, too.) 

With a little bit of still-drying nails difficulty, they help Adrienne into the sweater and wrap the feather boa around her neck, leaving it hanging down in front of her chest. It's fake feathers, of course, she wouldn't want to make Adrienne sneeze. 

Juleka turns on another Marvel movie and the three girls curl up on a sofa. It's going to be a good day, Rose decides. 

Marinette's day is going horribly. 

She's been fighting this akuma for hours, and only one civilian has been hit. At the cost of not winning. She doesn't really care; she saw what the akuma's powers did and _she won't let that happen again_. She's going to kill Hawk Moth for creating an akuma that turns everyone back to their birth-assigned gender. 

She's going to _kill_ that moth. Crush him underneath her boots. Rip his wings off and shred them into tiny pieces. 

Maaaaybe she's a little sleep deprived. 

But it's been hours and her partner still hasn't showed up and there's one trans man stuck in his worst nightmare: right back to his old body. 

She spots the Liberty and the akuma does too, eyes narrowing at the pride flags and running for them, and Ladybug leaps forward, landing nimbly on the deck of the boat and spinning her yoyo. She will protect the Liberty. Adrienne's here, and she'll be _devastated_ if she gets hit. She already has to deal with her homophobic, transphobic sperm donor.

Luka stands up when he sees the akuma, and he runs downstairs. "Girls! Transphobic akuma!"

There's a sound like a battle cry, absolutely _furious_, and Ladybug's only heard that sound once before. 

_Rose_. 

She almost pities the akuma, who has no idea what's coming for him. It's probably a good thing there isn't really anything easy-to-reach that Rose could use as a weapon. 

True to her predictions, Rose comes charging up onto the deck. She's wearing a full face of sparkly pink makeup, her hair has a bunch of tiny braids in the cute pixie cut, and she's wielding two weapons: 

One, a glittery pink feather boa. Two, a baguette. 

The akuma is so screwed. Rose can do _so_ much damage with a boa and a baguette. 

Of course, the monster only laughs. It must look hilarious to him; a sparkly pink beserker wielding _bread_ and _questionable fashion accessories_? But if Marinette learned anything from Charlie's Angels 2019, men take about seven seconds longer to register women as a threat. He probably still hasn't realized that Rose is about to _end his fucking life_. 

Ladybug stands aside as Rose charges past her and attacks, screaming a Kitty Section song about LGBTQ+ rights the whole time, absolutely _destroying_ the akuma with a Dupain-Cheng baguette and a feather boa Gabriel Agreste would probably want to burn. 

The akuma shoots as many beams as possible in random directions. Ladybug doesn't flinch as a few hit her; she's cis, and so is Rose. Looking up, she sees her partner heading in from the rooftops. She grins, Chatonne Noire may be late, but that doesn't stop the burst of joy Ladybug feels when she sees her. 

Rose stomps on the akumatized item and the akuma flutters out. Before Ladybug can catch it, Rose grabs it with her bare hands and _rips it's wings off_. 

She then hands the remains of the butterfly to Ladybug, who's somewhat terrified and also incredibly impressed. Rose is a _badass_ and nothing will change Marinette's mind about that. 

Luckily, the cleansed butterfly is whole and healthy as it flies away. Ladybug uses Miraculous Cure and swings over with her partner to congratulate Rose on her unconventional weapon choice. Chatonne is grinning brightly, and Ladybug finds herself sticking around much longer than she should just to see that smile a little longer. 

Chatonne is still there when Marinette stops by to "replace the weaponized baguette," (Juleka recorded the fight for Alya) and if she wakes up the next morning with her head resting on Chatonne's shoulder, Juleka on her other side, and Rose over all three girls' laps, well, it just might be the best night of sleep she's had in a while. 

No akuma ever attempts to board the Liberty again. Hawk Moth is much too scared of what Rose could do with a _real_ weapon. 

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is [death-by-ladybug](https://death-by-ladybug.tumblr.com/). come scream at me there i will respond gleefully, possibly in all caps, possibly trying to sound mature and sophisticated if you're on my "i'll die if they interact with me" list, or possibly with a screenshot of my friends freaking out bc they think someone interacting with me on tumblr means i'm famous.  
they, like always, are wrong. i am not famous. i am an overexcited enby with no common sense. comments are not only appreciated but much screamed over.  
also yES i did randomly decide to anonymously ask galahadwilder a question involving hitting an akuma with a baguette that slowly turned into "oH look being known as the baguette anon would be awesome so yes i'm writing this shit" despite the fact that i have a tumblr and could easily not be anon. oh well.


End file.
